Eulogy to Mama Ekosse
It is indeed very difficult in the emotional state of mind I find myself now to say anything sufficient to represent my feelings for this great lady who has just departed from us. What I must say is that she has accomplished in all aspects of life what many of us her children recognised as a well spent life to the end. She was not just a mother, but a special one to all in the family and beyond.
In her early years, brought up in a humble family of the Wosingis, she proceeded to have a brilliant formal and traditional education which she sufficiently mastered. She entered into wedlock with one of the pioneer educationists of our time and very well navigated all the maternal and social tasks that were linked to her status. She was a great mother raising more children than she bore herself, with the same level of care and diligence, to the extent that we could not make who were her own proper children in the house. Although Ma had a hard time juggling the demands of a home with so many children, she never complained at her unenviable task, nor did she ever show any sign of stress or tiring, be it to friends or family. All around her was peace, as she naturally commanded an air of calm assurance and love beyond what most mothers would.
I bear testimony of Ma, whose mannerism I came to admire so much and which became almost a curiosity to me for a good part of my life. She never made demands about personal material things, never worried about the hustle of life and kept such a peaceful demeanour and a kind of mystic aura about her. I never saw her frown or get annoyed or lose her temper. Where most mothers would be excited about the boisterous nature of children Ma had a way of giving all these mishaps a very soft almost passive look and instead of raising her voice would calmly comment always positively. As a doctor, knowing that she has suffered from blood pressure for several decades I never saw he ill and she was never on drugs for this. I still tell my sibling’s that Ma had a way of dealing with stress that they should try to learn and this I believe was the strategy that led her to along peaceful life.
In her midlife she and her husband were very busy, he occupied as a teacher and she as a house wife with many children and extended family. As they travelled through many towns in the country, she made many friends with whom she sympathised and enjoyed life. Her home was open to everyone without distinction and her services as a mother were free for all. Ma was a very witty woman and she shared with her husband teacher Ekosse a very particular brand of wit in which they called things literally as they meant in English. An example is when my uncle told me he was on leave and used the word ‘Leaf’ in Bakweri. I was puzzled and they looked at each other quietly as she smiled softly. It took me a while to understand what they meant but it was some kind of fun which I found interesting too. It is a privilege for me to be asked to write this eulogy to our beloved auntie, mother, grandmother and great grandmother today and as we all share her loss we wish to thank her for her great care and the warmth she shared with us during her long precious years on earth.
Ma losing you is painful to all of us. I wish to acknowledge that your dignified life brought us all a great fulfilment. As we gather to celebrate your life, for indeed this is a celebration, I bid you farewell and assure you that your legacy will live forever. Adieu Mammy Te. May your soul rest in peace.
Aloysius Mbak’a Ngombe